i already hear my dad disowning me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
