hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The Olympian is in my bed
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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