the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
