when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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