the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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