Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
