Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
