Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
