your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
