Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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