How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
