i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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