i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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