There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
