Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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