his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
