I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
