I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
