I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I should be sponsored by Trojan
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
