found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
