Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize