Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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