She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
