let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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