She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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