I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
