She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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