youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
false alarm, still single
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
