3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
