maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I need water and some morals
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