Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
