your room smells of hookers.
And success
my shit smells like andre
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
