Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize