she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
