I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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