I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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