I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
