dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
