Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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