It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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