the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
