Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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