You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize