I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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