Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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