This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
