oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
