sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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