if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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