I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
