yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
