sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize