Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My first STD was from a foam party
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
