Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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