I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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