I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
