great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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