dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
