Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
