well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
