I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
